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What's a sonnawabitch?

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To: The manager of the Y.M.C.A. Hotel, London

From: Paolo Marco

Subject: What's a sonnawabitch?

 

Dear Signore Direttore,

 

Now I tella you di story what I was treated at your otella; I am comma from Roma as a tourist to London and stay as a younga christian man at your otella.

When I comma in my room I see there is no shit (sheet) in my bed. How can I sleep with no shit in my bed? So I calla down di receptione and I tella:

What is a sonnawabitch?

I go down into ristorante. I order bacon ande egga and two pisses (pieces) of toast. I getta only one piss of toast! So I calla di waitress and pointe at di toast:

That is second person that not know me calla me sonnawabitch, and why is a staff reply with "Go to toilet!" Is that modern tella? I do not understand this, please tella me.

Later I go for dinner into ristorante. Spoon and a knife on di table, but no fock (fork). So I calla di waitress and I tella:

How comma this christian otella treate a guest in such a manner? So I go to receptione and ask for bill. I no wanta stay in this otella no more. When I paid di bill, di receptioniste say:

Direttore, I never gonna stay in your otella no more, you sonnawabitch!

Sincerely,

Paolo Marco.